Ok deepest darkest confession time. My bf thinks I insist on condoms because I'm paranoid about STDs and pregnancy. That's sorta not true... I mean, sexual health is obviously important but I'm also on the pill and he's my only partner so...

The real reason which I barely even admit to myself is that the only other guy I've slept with was my ex (who is black). We didn't use condoms at all (we got super lucky because I wasn't even on the pill when we first started going out!!). Anyway, I sorta have this idea that I only want black guys...maybe even just my ex... to cum inside me. Like, my ex left me for another girl and I love my bf but I guess I still want my ex at least sexually?